Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Hit The Gym


After a year of hitting the gym, I would like to have a say or two, perhaps more.

*Profanity alert* Chances of being offended is high.*VERY HIGH*

Attire

  • Wear suitable clothes which are COMFORTABLE and APPROPRIATE. It does not have to be branded. All it has to be is breathable and comfortable for workouts, especially mobility. Some people tend to wear clothes that covers head to toe with the perception of it aids them to perspire more, hence burning more calories. Wherever the hell they got that myth, its utter bullshit. The amount of sweat does not indicate the amount of calorie burn.
Washroom 
  • Some gyms have separate cubicles for gents and ladies. Some doesn’t. So, if you are sharing the cubicles, please be considerate to others. 
  • Gents, please CLOSE the fucking door. It is there for a reason. And oh, it is totally unnecessary to spray your pee everywhere. Or if you accidentally did, at least fucking clean after that. 
  •  Ladies, throw the toilet paper/sanitary pads in the bins provided. That’s practically common sense. 
  • And to both genders, if you missed the bin while throwing your rubbish, JUST PICK IT UP and THROW INTO THE BIN!!!! Do not just leave it lying on the damned floor. I can’t brain on why some of you people are being fucking retarded and uncivilized.  
Attending Classes
  • If you walk into a class late, SHUT THE FUCK UP and proceed with joining the class. Unnecessary to create havoc with your dumb friends and distract the already ongoing class. 
  •  If you are early for your scheduled class but there is an ongoing class, the least you could do if not join in the class is to SHUT THE FUCK UP. Unnecessary to be a nuisance. It’s called being respectful to others. Stop being a fucking uncivilized barbarian.
  • Be on time for your fitness classes. Otherwise, refer to the two points above.
  • Respect the fitness instructors. Listen to what they have to say and teach instead of being a hooligan in the class. 
Dumbells/barbells and gym equipments 
  • If you are done using the dumbells/plates, rerack after use. By rerack, it means, RETURN & ARRANGE them in place accordingly. Don’t prove yourself an asshole by leaving them on the floor or even placing them as you like. Be considerate. Be civilized.
  • DO NOT SLAM the plates/dumbells/barbells after use. It will wreck the weights and will definitely wreck the gym floor in time.
  •  If you are done with the treadmill/ellipticals/whatever the hell the rest of the equipments are called, fucking wipe your sweat off. Most gyms provide cloth/towel and sanitizers to clean up after use. Use them. If it is not provided, bring your own towel and wipe your goddamned sweat. It’s called simple hygiene practice. 
  • If you are at the gym just to hog the equipments with your selfies and videos, just stay home. Don’t be a fucking waste of space. 
Sound effects
  • I totally respect the amount of effort and shit you put into your workout. That doesn’t mean you can moan and groan as you like, for the whole world to hear. Those moans and groans are pretty disturbing and distracting, especially if you sound like a fucking wild boar.
Newbies
  •  If you are new to the gym just proceed with what’s right and go on with your workouts.
  • If you are clueless about using any of the equipment, ask the staffs. They should at least have a basic idea of how all the equipment works.
  • Don’t get intimidated at the gym. If at all you caught anyone staring at you, smile or say Hi like a normal human being. 
The wannabes 
  • There could be many wannabe instructors at the gym. They are there just to lure the newbies into their fitness scheme. Choose wisely. The gym usually hires certified instructors. All you have to do is ask the reception.
Some people are fucking serious with their fitness journey and can’t afford to waste their precious time. Be considerate. Don't be a selfish prick. 

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