Tuesday, December 27, 2022

Adumbrate

A Heavy Price

Here comes the annual review for 2022. To adumbrate the entire year, I would say it has been lame and uneventful, though I would like to highlight a number of events. Events that has changed me and my perspectives against the human race in general.  

Event 1 : My job taught me an impactful lesson. To just focus on getting the job done and get the hell out of shithole right on time! It is unnecessary to put in way too much effort in places that does not recognize it entirely, especially when you are being taken advantage of. So, fuck that! 😒  

Event 2 : My participation in Spartan Race escalated to a win for Spartan Super in Sarawak. First race in 3 years since the pandemic, I would say it was due to lack of competition and participation from better athletes. Nevertheless, I was absolutely proud to be flexing KnightPTC's flag during the podium ceremony. Despite being over the moon, this race also taught me that not everyone will be your well wisher and that's okay. The closest person to you may doubt your ability and capabilities and that's okay too. At the end of the day, what matters is your own self reflection : the amount of hard work and effort you put in to improve yourself and excel in something you are passionate about. 😉 

KnightPTC

Event 3: Attachment comes with a risk of abandonment. No attachment is permanent regardless of the tie and one should be ever-ready to accept and let go if another choose to be seasonal. This is by far the hardest lesson for me to take in and digest probably despite the repetitive events of abandonment I've dealt with people on a whole. To a certain extend, it made me question my self-worth but it is what it is. Hence, I gladly took a step back, stayed in my lane and build my fort higher. Life hoes on regardless. #idontdoseasonalfriendships 💁

Whatever floats your fucking boat!

Event 4 : Nothing tops the satisfaction of giving my parents the taste of luxury they never got to experience for themselves during their younger days. So much so that they crave for more and I may have to sell my kidneys or perhaps my siblings. Regardless, it would still be worth it!! 😝

 Event 5 : If you are passionate about something, work extremely smart and hard at it. Little do you know, you are being observed and acknowledged for the things you do and the ways you do it. My dream of coaching in the field of fitness came true in October. An absolutely smooth transition from being a student in KnightPTC to becoming a coach. What moved me to tears is the recognition and acknowledgement from Coach Yanti & Coach Stephen. Easily one of the absolute BEST things that happened this year.   

In overall, from the series of events, both mentioned and not mentioned above, the one thing I distinctively decided and put into practice for this year was my listening trait. I became more observant, chose to shut it, listen (and maybe, just maybe judge in silence). It came with a hefty price though. It definitely took a toll on my mental and emotional health. When you do it a little too extra self-consciously, it is only natural to have a tiny bit of expectation of the same trait in others. It is mind-blowingly frustrating to grasp the fact that not everyone is willing to listen to the extend that you do or heck, just hear even a trivial detail of something you have to say. So, I choose not to waste my time and theirs. *Cue Linkin Park's 'Nobody's Listening'* 😌 

As the year comes to an end, I'd wrap it up by saying 'In the end, all you have is you. Just You'

Friday, December 02, 2022

One More Light

 




You peeped on my phone screen while I was choosing a playlist for my drive home

Seeing Linkin Park on my screen, it was just that apt to ask what's my favourite song from the band 

In the end...it has always been In the end... 

And yours is apparently One More Light 

I couldn't recall the song so I assumed it's from their last album before Chester's passing... 

I listened to the track on the way back home 

Devouring the lyrics, the meaning behind every line 

And reading between the lines 

A wave of emotion swept through me  

I hope you know your presence matters 

I hope you reach out if you need help 

I hope things get better 

For you and your surroundings 


It's not quite right of me to assume that you are going through a rough patch by listening to the song. But anyhow, I wish you well. Always. #myskateboarder

Sunday, November 20, 2022

Endure

Journey of A Thousand Miles Begins When You Put Your Foot Down


I have always refused to put up with bullshit 
 But I also happen to 
make certain exceptions 
Especially for you 
Just because it was you...

Years flew by
Encountering your antics
The sarcasm, the mockery
All of that toxic trait 
I knew you possessed 
Since day one 

I persevered 
the red flags 
Simply because 
It was your way of 
Building a safe fort 
Shielding from 
emotions, monologues, action 
 
I endured them all 
open hearted and willingly 
As your once 
wonderful summer companion...

Never thought 
I would 
take that phrase to heart did you? 
Neither did I 
But guess what ? 
That was probably 
the ONLY nice thing 
You have ever said 
or rather, texted about me...  

With that,
I put my foot down 
I'm done enduring  
Let's just stop this 
altogether... 


The end of HeyYou. I decided on this not too long ago, though I have just found the time and effort to properly execute it. With that being said, life hoes on... 😉