If You Don't Have Any, Just Don't Have It

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Picture this :

3 kids & their mum. Breaking fast. Child#1 goes MIA. Child#2 continues to feast on every possible food that was available. Child#3 decides not to finish her food but demands for more from Child#2's plate. Child#2 refuses to share and Child#3 decides to behave like an uncivilized barbarian throw tantrum. Eventually, moves over to the mother, demanding her food portions, subsequently returning back to Child#2 for his food. The return of Child#1. The battle began. Chaos. The table almost overturned, spilling the drinks - well, you get the idea. The mother is still busy feasting. Child#2, after feasting on all the dishes, drops the big news - Needs to take a dump. Mum too busy stuffing herself with food. A stranger had to help Child#2 with you know what. Child#1 goes MIA again. Eventually returns and start the chaos. Tears & Screams. TOTAL CHAOS!!

THE HIGHLIGHT : I was sitting at the same table with them, totally embarrassed, wishing I would be struck by an electromagnetic shrink ray.

Now, today's topic : PARENTING SKILLS.
*If you think I don't have any rights to talk about parenting just because I don't have a child, SCREW YOU!!*

I grew up in a totally disciplined environment, a so - called military camp. No, it wasn't that bad at all. In fact, the best days of my life is my childhood. So much fun that the kids these days won't know shit about with their electronic gadgets. I grew up in a way where creating havoc/scene, demanding for things and screaming away is a BIG NO or you're in deep shit. So, my siblings and I never did so. Even if we had the thought of behaving so, the stare from my parents is enough to send us an electric shock wave. So, when kids misbehave, I refuse to understand and give in to their barbaric acts. There's a Malay Proverb which says "Melentur buluh biarlah dari rebungnya" (If you don't know the meaning, look it up)

These are the skills that every parent MUST have :

Skill 1 : Stare at your children especially when they misbehave. Nothing is more powerful than a deadly stare.

Skill 2 : When you plan to go on an outing, warn your children on their behavior. Tell them what to do and what not to do. Tell them the consequences if they act barbaric.

Skill 3 : When the child says anything wrong, DO NOT SMILE/LAUGH or anything related to that like as if it's an achievement. Spank Correct him/her right away. Explain on why the action is wrong. If there is a need for an apology, demand for it. The child will definitely understand. Well, at least my siblings and I did.

Skill 4 : When your child sees another child eating and behaves like he/she has been food deprived and creates a drama out of it, the moment you get home, regardless the time,shove give him/her the same food and make sure the child finish it. At the same time, explain to them on why you are doing so.

Skill 5 : Do not let your children run around - be it in a supermarket or a fine dining restaurant. Seriously, people are out for a break and not to see some strays kids running around, acting barbaric.

Skill 6 :To all the MOMMIES, don't pamper your sons to the point of no returns. Don't raise them by indirectly giving them a way to think "women are nature-born slaves". JUST DON'T! In the end, you'll be their slave or they might just not survive the world because women these days NO LONGER put up with that male chauvinist attitude.

Skill 7 : To all the DADDIES, don't spoil your daughters, raising them up like a princess. Simply because you're not living a fairy tale. It's a tough world out there and being a princess is not an acquired skill.

Skill 8 : Mommies & Daddies - the world doesn't evolve around you and your child only. It is equally important to spend time with yourselves. So, allocate the weekend to spend quality time with each other. You have your needs as well. It is NOT NECESSARY to dedicate your whole life for your child and neglect your own relationship. Mommies - after childbirth, please improve your figure. Don't neglect your body and health just because you claim you're so occupied with nursing the child. Bullshit!! If it's not for you, at least it is important to keep your hubby around. If you get my point. ; )  Daddies - Childbirth is really taxing. So, will you just help your wife with at least the simple chores at home or babysitting?? After all, you are one of the contributing factor for the child!!

Skill 9 : DO NOT live your dreams through your child. Do not force your child to pursue a field that you were interested but never get to live in. That's totally selfish.

Skill 10 : Just DON'T take control of your child's life. Give the child the proper freedom at the proper age. You gotta allow them to make the mistakes and learn. You spoon-feed them and they will learn shit on their own. When your child reaches the age of 18, get a grip. DO NOT be in denial and treat the child like a kid. There's nothing more damaging than that.

If you DON'T HAVE ANY of the skills above, just forget about having a child. It's just going to ruin everyone's life, ESPECIALLY yours. Yeah, REALLY IT DOES!