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| When I Was A Teapot... |
These days...
X : Do you not eat rice?
Me: Not on a daily basis
X: What do you eat then?
Me: Bread, oats, milk, biscuits and stuffs along that line.
X: Makanan orang sakit! (Food for the sick!) What kinda digestive system do you have?
Me: The kind that induce guilt when I consume a proper meal
X: ....
Obviously, I've got an issue. Despite the fact that I'm underweight, I am VERY particular about my body weight. I don't mind losing them, but strict as hell, I should not gain any. I've been named 'Ikan Bilis' and 'Pikok' due to my physique. Though, I gotta admit, I love being called Pikok. =) I get, 'Why do you even bother to work out when you are skinny?' The funny shit is, these remarks usually come from those of bigger physique. I usually reply with a smile, though the bitch in me SILENTLY go 'So that I don't end up like you. Duh!' *Bitch Mode By Default* How I see my physical self differs from the reality. I'm petite but I still see myself as fat. Hence, the runs, work out etc. My friends suspect me of having Anorexia Nervosa. I don't. Okay, maybe I do, just a little. I've been on the 50kg range once upon a time. Ain't a big deal - but being petite, at 50kg, I appear to be a fucking teapot. I'm not a teapot anymore though, thanks to my special digestive system and the workouts. =)
Everyone has inferiority complex. Have you realised how we downgrade ourselves to get assurance from another party? You come up with nasty remarks about yourself just to hear the other person convince you otherwise. Of course, it is absolutely normal to seek for one's opinion of approval. After all, we all want to fit in.
What is totally wrong is when one gives a positive feedback, you deny it by continuously giving nasty remarks about yourself, forcing them to agree. That is shallow. You have an issue, deal with it. You don't force others to see you in a fucked up way like you do.
Don't go blaming on your past, about how anyone saw of you. That's just seeking for sympathy. Even if your self worth has been damaged by their remarks, that doesn't make them right. And you, by all means should be proving them wrong instead of agreeing. On a second thought, you don't have to prove shit. Ignore them for fuck sake. After all, it simply proves the fact that you don't need them, screwing your mind up. Just in case you didn't know, some people live up by screwing other's self value. *Fucking lowlives*
Don't get me wrong. When one comes up with a negative remark, it proves there is room for improvement. So, take it up as a challenge to make yourself better. Besides, there's always a way in telling shit to one's face. That makes the difference between a friend and a fucking lowlife. =)
