Hell No, Woman!!

         Picture taken from sassyecards.com

Lately, women annoy the crap outta me as much as men does. Like seriously!

1) Bug the hell outta the boyfriend
Now, come on. Dude has got a job to attend rather than entertaining your damned drama. Calling and texting him during work is not gonna strengthen any shit between you guys. Please, stop bugging the daylight outta him. Probably it's the only time he is in peace anyway. Lol!

2) He is the only thing that matters
Who the fuck are you kidding??? Okay, fine. He is your prince charming and you're in love and shit. There are other things that matters as well. Like what, you may ask. Well, like EVERYTHING ELSE BESIDES HIM.

3) Stop being paranoid
Haven't you heard that there is a thing called 'The phone ran out of charge"? Yes, shit happens. So, when he is unreachable, just calm down, chill and wait. It is unnecessary to contact all his friends across the globe, asking on his whereabouts. Dude is probably trying to breathe for some precious 5 minutes.

4) DO NOT stop him
No ladies! Hell no! Just as much as you hate them forcing you to do shit, they hate it as well. Please do not force them to stop doing things that they love to do. Like sports, play station, or even outing with the buddies. Some men remain being boys so they definitely need their space. To grow up at least! Let them be!! ;)

5) DO NOT stalk on him or/and check on his phone
You women, don't even deny it. Stalking him on FB or checking his phone only proves one thing : YOU are so insecure about yourself. He wouldn't be looking for another option if you are good enough for him. Oh well, if you beg to differ, let's say he stalks you on FB and checks on your phone. How does that make you feel? EXACTLY MY POINT. Like duh!!!

Think ladies! It is really not necessary to do all of the above. Time and space gives an opportunity for love to grow.

Out!

To My Men

*This post is dedicated to all the single ladies and to all the men that I have got to know. Definitely a rare post*

I can't help but ponder why there are so many single ladies out there. And these women are pretty successful with their career and could practically afford to have almost anything but they are SINGLE.
*Now you single ladies, don't give me that look. I'm not saying it is a disgrace to be single. HELL NO!!

I could only think of these as to why there are many single women out there.

*This is my personal point of view*

1) The Past
Oh well, we women always seem to carry the past with us for the rest of our lives. Yes, the past is supposed to remind and teach us about the pain and the torment we went through in our previous relationships but it should not be a barricade for one to explore into a new one. It should be a lesson to be learned, not something that stops you from falling in love again. Think about it!

2) Stereotyping
So what if you had your little heart broken by that asshole boyfriend of yours from high school? Screw him! Don't go stereotyping all the men just because a handfuls are rotten. Honestly, those high school courtship may not even come close to LOVE anyway. NOT ALL men are assholes. Like seriously.

3) Expectations
We women just want a guy like our dads. Ladies, Don't even deny this. Dads are probably the only man- kind whom treats us preciously. Perhaps. But honestly, that is not the right expectation to have. If all men were to be like our dad, it doesn't make him all special anymore, isn't it? He would be just an ordinary man. All men would be ordinary. And trust me when I say, no men would come this close to our dads. Our dads are just the best among them. No doubts! So, just stop looking for another 'dad figure' in your man. It will only dissapoint you.

4) The responsibilities
Some of us have our responsibilities towards the family or extended families. But that should not be an excuse for you to not date anyone. Do not make excuses and totally refrain yourself from dating. That is totally wrong. And if you expect help from the man, that is not quite right as well. If one decides to help, it should be done sincerely. Not because he is obliged to do so.

5) Being a bitch
Well, literally, yeah. Just stop being one. Simply because it is not gonna bring you to the right one. You will end up being exploited. You will lose your self respect and dignity. And the men will only see you as 'that bitch?!' instead of 'that woman'. That's a whole lot of difference isn't it?

6) Holding Grudges
Holding grudges over love is ancient artifacts, says Travie McCoy. If your relationship did not work out, move on. There really is no point of holding grudges. It's only going to make you bitter. I bet many of you women out there still bad mouth your exes. Oh, come on! Get a grip! MOVE ON!

Well, I would say, being single in the late 20s or more is not easy. Especially when almost every friend you have is getting married or engaged and your parents kept asking every now and then whether you are seeing anyone. I truly realized that I have been inhibiting myself from relationships due to some of the factors above. And I know it is not right! Yes, not all men are rotten and one should not stereotype the others.

To all of my men, thank you for being you. Thank you for all the lessons, for that, I am the woman I am today. Being the awesome person that you are, you are very close to my heart. ♡♡♡

When They Leave

Death : Loss of a loved one. No words could describe the despair and devastation you feel. It's even worse when you can't do shit but just watch them slip away from you.

NOTHING AT ALL helps in easing the pain and the denial you feel when you lose your loved one. Even the words of encouragement or comfort doesn't help in any way. I know. It is just plain difficult. It is just too painful.

Losing my grandma all of a sudden, was such a shock to me. I stood in shock throughout the whole funeral service not shedding a tear. NOT EVEN A DROP. I was just too angry, in denial, refused to believe that she was gone. To be honest, I still tend to think that she is still alive though reality slaps every now and then. *still very much in denial*

This post goes to my buddy, Joe. I am so sorry for your loss. Irreplaceable it is. But just be glad that you had the chance to take care of Her. Be glad that you were there throughout the days and nights. Be glad that you did all you could do, by being there. Be glad for that memories that you have spent with Her and for Her. For I believe, that is exactly what She would want and do. I hate to say this, when I know it is the most difficult moment for now. But be strong. For dad. For all he has is you and the rest of the family. Take care, buddy. *HUGS*

2013 : Journey To Self Discovery

2013 has been a long, long ride. As each month passed, I wondered what the hell have I been doing?? I never got an absolute answer. Well, at least not until I moved to Sarawak. Anyway, this is just a recap of events throughout the year:

1) The year started with a bottle of red wine and obviously a massive hangover the next day. =)
2) A pinch of romance which lead to a dead end
3) Two good friends of mine got their marriages nullified
4) Many other friends got married and continued to breed
5) A reunion + roadtrip
6) The trip to Singapore and Tulipmania
7) Worked, worked and worked even more
8) The monthly makan and movie with awesome friends from LWEH
9) The talks with OSH
10) The first run
11) The Monday dinners with Pitz
12) The arrival of Hey U =P
13) The hangouts, late night convos and booze with those who mattered most
14) The wedding and family matters
15) The accident and the gas tank incident
16) Grandma's sudden passing
17) The job offer
18) The resignation
19) Departure to Sarawak
20) THE REALITY SLAP
21) The first ever football match in stadium

Of course, I will definitely elaborate on that reality slap. Like duh! Yes, I left my super awesome life, family and friends in Penang for a job in Sarawak. A job that I have been applying for the past 5 years without fail. The first month was a living hell. Loneliness struck to the core. NOT A DAY passed without shedding tears. Homesick. I have always believed in 'Alone doesn't mean lonely' but this place has proved me otherwise. When you are ALL ALONE, loneliness will eventually set in. I longed for someone to just ask whether I have eaten or how did the day go? I realised I have taken these little things for granted. I never did respond well to these questions before. It taught me to be grateful for every little blessings. To be grateful for the family and friends I have. To appreciate life's every little luxury. To not take anything, I mean ANYTHING at all for granted. I have learned that when life's comfort is taken away, you just gotta make best use of what's left without being such a baby.

It has been an incredible journey. A journey to self discovery. I am still coping, a little better than before. It's not about the place. It is about the company you have and of course, it is about how you deal with life when shit hits the fan. As much as I hate change, I'm aware it is the only constant thing in life.

I've managed to upload a few pictures here. By the way, the pictures are not chronologically arranged. To all my dearest friends, I miss you guys dearly. I apologize I'm not able to load all our pictures here. Blogging via mobile phone is such a pain in the ass yo!!

To my new-found friends, thank you so much for making me feel at home. It is such a blessing to get to know you guys. May there be more fun for the upcoming year. =)

The Wedding

The Accident

The Farewell Party

Awesome Friends 

The Picnic

Arrival In Kuching

Living Off A Sofabed

The Farewell

The Football Match

My Newfound Friends

Hey U =P

Dearest Hey U,

If at all you are reading this, I'm pretty damn sure you will be having a massive awkward moment. Please don't. Sometimes, it is just difficult to tell someone how much they mean. So, here we go.

Knowing you is a gift (though this post may suggest otherwise). I'll start with a Thank You, for suggesting to join the Eco Run. It meant a great deal for me as I was in 'shutdown' mode for nearly a year. It's amazing how a random gesture actually means a great deal for someone. As I've said before, it's the little things that makes the big difference.

I get it that you take things very seriously. Everything is about winning, you'd say. To be honest, I could never forget the look you gave when I told my SPM results. But sometimes you gotta let loose, honey. Take things as they are. You can't always get what you want. I know that you would beg to differ but hey come on, it really is okay. Not winning something does not make you a big time loser. Of course, it does not hurt to keep winning. =)

It is really okay if you are unwell. There is no need to put up a front that you are doing great when you are not. It's okay if you're feeling a little bit under the weather. Don't stress yourself and make things even worse by acting everything is totally fine. Just because you're unwell, does not mean that you are a weak person in any way. I would totally understand if it is to be positive and shit but then when it comes to you, I doubt so. There's just so much of tension. Loosen up ehh ?? =)

Smile, my dearest Hey U. Okay okay, being someone who frowns for practically 24/7, I
know I'm not the the right person to say this, but hey, do smile. You'll never know, someone might be falling in love with that smile. *lame shit, I know* LOL! But yeah, do smile. For photographs at least. =)

I'll remind you again : I didn't mean it when I said you're not a good person. I was just annoyed at how you handle people sometimes. You shouldn't be doing someone a favor if you're not sincere bout it. That's just wrong. It's a different case if you don't have a choice but to do it. And yeah, you're alright. Or else I wouldn't be talking to you. Muahahaha! Even if you're just trying to be nice to me, I would still say you're a good person, although just a lil' bit rotten.*LOL* Anyway, everyone is rotten in their own ways. So, you are not an exceptional case or some shit.

You will be leaving soon. Knowing you, you'll probably just forget the 'farm' and anything or anyone associated with it. But I will be missing you. Our conversations, the jokes, arguments and sarcastic remarks. All of it. Hey, it's not always that you get to meet someone with brains. By the way, you should let that brain of yours rest sometimes. You just overwork it, man. Don't even try to deny it. I've been watching you, honey. That should be obvious by now. LOL

I'm glad our path crossed. Thank you. =)

And You Wonder Why...

This is an obvious post. No surprise there. If any part of this blogpost offends you in any way, learn from it because as much as it annoys the crap out of me, it annoys most women out there. Period.


1)HORRIBLE English
Gosh!! The horrible English you men come up with. I can just puke multiple times on your face. Please, if you are planning to impress someone or even looking for a date online or through those mobile chat thingy, PLEASE, brush up on your English, especially your spelling. Don't spell "supper" as "sapper" or even "jungle" as "jangle". What the flying fuck?! Seriously!

2)Uncivilised barbarians
 Most men are.Period.

3)Cigarettes
You already stink big time smoking your lungs out. Well, just stop smoking in public. At least, don't litter those fag-ends everywhere. Be civilised.

4)Liars
If you're lying, be smart about it. At least remember your lies so you don't fuck up.

5)Hygiene
Personal hygiene-nails, hair, nose. Please, keep your nails clean. It's so disgusting to see that you actually eat with that hand of yours. My dearest friends, please DON'T clear your throat constantly when you're out with me. It's fucking disgusting. And even if you do it while in the shower, you don't have to do it to the extend that the whole neighbourhood is aware of what you are doing.

6)Titanium
If you're planning to get out of a relationship, man up. Don't just let the other person hanging on without any closure. Go get titanium balls. GO!!!

7)Relationship
If you're not up for it, just don't go for it. There are so many better things to do in life. You've already damaged the men-kind by not being up for it. At least, don't screw it up further.

8)Conversation
W : What's up??
M : Sky, fan, light
Like seriously ?? You can definitely do way better than that.

9)Read
You men rarely read. Why oh Why???????

10)Alcohol
It is not necessary to get drunk. You can always choose to stop at any point of drinking. And if you don't drink, just don't drink. A man who doesn't drink and man enough to tell it is WAY, WAY BETTER than a man who makes a fool out of himself after just a glass of vodka. Go get some titanium. Please.

Now that you've got at least SOME of the answers, you can stop wondering why I'm single...

Go get a life... and titanium for that matter...

Thank you!

Leaping Frog

Being on and off a relationship or even wedlock has become a common thing these days. Let's not even analyze the factors contributing to these issues. I'd rather talk on what happens after that. Yes, provoked, yet again. As always.

This seems to be what happens next : 

Suicide attempts

~ Attempts succeed most of the time. Either one or both dies. End of story. 

Depression

~ Like duh! Cry your heart out for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and even years. Then you feel so sick of being depressed and you decide to give life another chance, only to know that it went down the drain again. And the cycle continues. Of course, the opposite could happen too. You'll live happily ever after. Ohh wait, that will be in your dreams. Nah, just kidding. 

Lost and Clueless

~ You practically have no idea what to do next because even to move to the next room, you practically need a map and you will still get lost. Simple reason : You practically don't function well without your other half due to too much dependence. 

Substance abuse

~ Alcoholism/drug abuse. Short time satisfaction for a long term effect. Eventually it becomes a habit and then life becomes a damn drama. *Singing Amy Whinehouse's Rehab*

Bad mouth
~ Start calling him/her names. Spread the news to everyone. Make yourself the victim. Even if you are one, bad mouthing others is a dirty, cheap trick. Please, grow up. 

Leaping frog 

~ Rebound. Just to fill the void, pain and a little bit of vengeance. Expecting the new comer to replace the former is such a wrong thing to do. Even if it is of mutual feelings. Eventually, shit happens and the cycle goes again. 

Single all the way 

~ Solitude at its peak. Of course! But what the heck. If you have the money, the job, the assets and all the freedom to do all you ever wanted with your life, then let that be it. It's not a must to follow the lame life cycle. And it's not necessary to refrain yourself from giving yourself or perhaps another individual a chance.

The truth is, someone somehow is going to hurt you in some ways. It's whom that's worth the pain that matters.

Life's Tough....And Then You Die

TO ALL MY BELOVEDS,

Things are so not going well for now. It's okay. Shit happens. Just keep holding on. Even if it doesn't help as much. Seek help. Talk it out. You'll feel so much better.

There's nothing embarassing about seeking help. Even if you're a guy. (Let's not even go there). And if you think talking things out will never solve shit, you are absolutely wrong. Apparently, when you talk things out or vent out your frustrations, you will actually feel better. It doesn't really matter if the person you talk to is able to fix your issues or not. When you let it off your chest, you'll feel lighter. By bottling up your issues, you could be halting another person's life. It's called being selfish and that causes even more damage  So, just don't.

Share your issues. In someway, it helps others too.

Here comes the highlight : If at all you talk about your issues and that someone says,"There are so much bigger issues than yours. So many people starve to death, bla bla bla", just fucking bitch slap the person.

When one has an issue, it is big enough for him/her. Don't go comparing the issue with poverty and starvation or even war. That's totally out of the point. Just help. If you can't, the best you could do is just listen. Most of the time, people with issues just want someone to listen. Nothing more.

My dearest beloveds, even if I hit you guys with my sarcasm every little time we talk things out, just remember this : I care. I totally do. Your issues matter to me. All I want is the best for each and every one of you. Perhaps things could be dealt in a different way.

So, take care. Shit happens. Keep holding on.

Well, Life's tough............and then you die.

=)

Never Say Never

I am back to the lowest point of my life. A phase I have once promised myself I will never ever go through again. I guess 'Never Say Never' was created for a fucked up moment like this...

The more I try to fix this mess, the more I feel like I'm trying too hard.

'Let it go'
'It's not worth the pain...it never was, it never will be', the heart says.

Maybe I'm just not willing to, as it would alter everything...
Everything that I have been wanting to have...

I held out my hands and I feel like a beggar...
Just exactly how I felt a very long time ago...and promised myself never to go through this torment again, but

Guess what?

NEVER SAY NEVER!

Figure Of Speech

And she said, "You're a very nice girl."

All I wondered and still do, is WHAT made her say that and WHY??

Apart from the blood taking procedure, we barely know each other at all.

You're very nice

• Is it something so random to be said?
• Could it really be so meaningless?
• Or could it be all the meaning you need?

Sometimes, it takes a stranger to guide you to self discovery

Blame It On The Red Wine Or So They Say

Happy New Year 2013!!!

This is all I have got to say :

My dearest Thylage, you have been and you will always be the best of  everything that has happened to me. And NO, this is not the red wine talking. Thank you for always having my back. And yes, I can still remember your explanation that you gave by referring to your bed sheet. Surprisingly, it really did made sense. I know I make things so complicated at times. But I'm so damn glad that you are always, I repeat, ALWAYS, there to make it simpler. You are indeed the best! Sayang u! Muakz!


Dearest Tuan Hamba, you make me happy. Thank you. For more happy times together *cheers*

Dearest Jay, we had (and I bet we will have more of ) the whole year having all the alcohol we want. It's funny how things turned out to be. Even if we don't have much things to talk about, just remember that you are very close to my heart. I'm always grateful that you have never been the typical Indian brother towards me. Sayang u.


Dearest obsession Eva, you indeed have been the best new year (self) - gift I've ever gotten myself. You been cruising me all around for 4 years now. Thank you and Happy Birthday.

Dearest all my FRIENDS at work, thank you guys for being so wonderful. You guys have been the main reason I look forward to coming to work though I hate my job. You guys make my day. DAILY! :) *Very free Ahh you???* Lol!


What else can I ask to have for this brand new year??? I've got them all. Thank you very much.


Much LOVE,
~Hemz~

A Different Title Perhaps?

Poda Podi - Such a turn-off title for a Tamil movie. Especially when the lead actor (Simbu) is known for some lousy acts. Indeed! Alright fine. He's not totally lousy but sometimes he is, to a certain extent. But i will not deny the fact that he have done a number of good movies, directed and acted by himself. So, that was the only reason I checked out the movie, thinking it could be different. And YES, it was NOT disappointing at all. The movie was really good. Except for some of the post marital issues that was potrayed. Will get there in a bit. That's the whole damn point of this blog post anyway.

I have to ask this : Why does almost all INDIAN men (or maybe every man) wants to take control of the woman they marry???

A very simple example : Almost all the lead actresses whom are married to lead actors have stopped acting. But the husband continues acting, fondling other women, being in intimate scenes for movies. Why?? Do they feel insecure about the woman succeeding in the industry or are they feeling insecure of their status?? Enlighten me!

Indian men especially, would always want to be in charge of every damn thing about their wife. They will try their very best to cut off the woman's passion or interest. I know of someone who was so passionate about Indian classical dance - Bharatanatyam, whom after marriage, was totally denied of pursuing her dance. And being a typical woman or shall I say typical Indian woman that she was, she obeyed the husband and gave up on her dance. What a waste!!! Why didn't she fight for herself? I wonder. :S

I still have no clue in what marriage actually means to certain men. Well, most men take their wife as 
a servant slave. They practically expect the wife to serve them for the rest of their life. Even if the wife is a working woman. They expect the wife to do all the cleaning, cooking, baby-sitting, laundry and other chores. Instead of giving the wife a hand, they would actually complain if any of the chores doesn't meet their expectation. They would dirty the house as they please, throw the laundry anywhere about the house and expect them to be cleaned up. Oh yeah, you can question what the hell is a wife for if not for these? Well, a wife is not a fucking servant. That's my point. So, stop treating or expecting them to be one. 

That's for now. I still think the movie would have done way much better if they had a different title. 

If You Don't Have Any, Just Don't Have It

 Image taken from   http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-42314725

Picture this :

3 kids & their mum. Breaking fast. Child#1 goes MIA. Child#2 continues to feast on every possible food that was available. Child#3 decides not to finish her food but demands for more from Child#2's plate. Child#2 refuses to share and Child#3 decides to behave like an uncivilized barbarian throw tantrum. Eventually, moves over to the mother, demanding her food portions, subsequently returning back to Child#2 for his food. The return of Child#1. The battle began. Chaos. The table almost overturned, spilling the drinks - well, you get the idea. The mother is still busy feasting. Child#2, after feasting on all the dishes, drops the big news - Needs to take a dump. Mum too busy stuffing herself with food. A stranger had to help Child#2 with you know what. Child#1 goes MIA again. Eventually returns and start the chaos. Tears & Screams. TOTAL CHAOS!!

THE HIGHLIGHT : I was sitting at the same table with them, totally embarrassed, wishing I would be struck by an electromagnetic shrink ray.

Now, today's topic : PARENTING SKILLS.
*If you think I don't have any rights to talk about parenting just because I don't have a child, SCREW YOU!!*

I grew up in a totally disciplined environment, a so - called military camp. No, it wasn't that bad at all. In fact, the best days of my life is my childhood. So much fun that the kids these days won't know shit about with their electronic gadgets. I grew up in a way where creating havoc/scene, demanding for things and screaming away is a BIG NO or you're in deep shit. So, my siblings and I never did so. Even if we had the thought of behaving so, the stare from my parents is enough to send us an electric shock wave. So, when kids misbehave, I refuse to understand and give in to their barbaric acts. There's a Malay Proverb which says "Melentur buluh biarlah dari rebungnya" (If you don't know the meaning, look it up)

These are the skills that every parent MUST have :

Skill 1 : Stare at your children especially when they misbehave. Nothing is more powerful than a deadly stare.

Skill 2 : When you plan to go on an outing, warn your children on their behavior. Tell them what to do and what not to do. Tell them the consequences if they act barbaric.

Skill 3 : When the child says anything wrong, DO NOT SMILE/LAUGH or anything related to that like as if it's an achievement. Spank Correct him/her right away. Explain on why the action is wrong. If there is a need for an apology, demand for it. The child will definitely understand. Well, at least my siblings and I did.

Skill 4 : When your child sees another child eating and behaves like he/she has been food deprived and creates a drama out of it, the moment you get home, regardless the time,shove give him/her the same food and make sure the child finish it. At the same time, explain to them on why you are doing so.

Skill 5 : Do not let your children run around - be it in a supermarket or a fine dining restaurant. Seriously, people are out for a break and not to see some strays kids running around, acting barbaric.

Skill 6 :To all the MOMMIES, don't pamper your sons to the point of no returns. Don't raise them by indirectly giving them a way to think "women are nature-born slaves". JUST DON'T! In the end, you'll be their slave or they might just not survive the world because women these days NO LONGER put up with that male chauvinist attitude.

Skill 7 : To all the DADDIES, don't spoil your daughters, raising them up like a princess. Simply because you're not living a fairy tale. It's a tough world out there and being a princess is not an acquired skill.

Skill 8 : Mommies & Daddies - the world doesn't evolve around you and your child only. It is equally important to spend time with yourselves. So, allocate the weekend to spend quality time with each other. You have your needs as well. It is NOT NECESSARY to dedicate your whole life for your child and neglect your own relationship. Mommies - after childbirth, please improve your figure. Don't neglect your body and health just because you claim you're so occupied with nursing the child. Bullshit!! If it's not for you, at least it is important to keep your hubby around. If you get my point. ; )  Daddies - Childbirth is really taxing. So, will you just help your wife with at least the simple chores at home or babysitting?? After all, you are one of the contributing factor for the child!!

Skill 9 : DO NOT live your dreams through your child. Do not force your child to pursue a field that you were interested but never get to live in. That's totally selfish.

Skill 10 : Just DON'T take control of your child's life. Give the child the proper freedom at the proper age. You gotta allow them to make the mistakes and learn. You spoon-feed them and they will learn shit on their own. When your child reaches the age of 18, get a grip. DO NOT be in denial and treat the child like a kid. There's nothing more damaging than that.

If you DON'T HAVE ANY of the skills above, just forget about having a child. It's just going to ruin everyone's life, ESPECIALLY yours. Yeah, REALLY IT DOES!