Things Will Get Better

Dedicated to my dearest DINA & MAALINI

This is definitely NOT my piece of work. It was on a card I received from my late buddy, Fadzilah when I was in Form 2. I was having a really fucked up time and getting this card from her was something really very thoughtful of her. These words have never failed to keep me strong in life and I hope somehow it helps you as well.

Dearest Dinz & Maal, everyone is going to hurt you somehow. It's who worth the pain that matters...

When things aren't going well for u,

and times aren't what they should be,

just focus on the positive

and think about what could be.

Acknowledge what has happened-

don't lose sight of lessons past -

but don't allow the negative,

Distracting thoughts to last.

Take what you've learnt

and start from there-

Draw strength from your frustration

and let this added sense of purpose

be your new foundation.

It's hard to follow any plan

Precisely to the letter,

though life right now is difficult,

Things will get better.

Rather than thinking bout those whom are not worth, it's better to think of those who really care about you. Take things slow, and THINGS WILL DEFINITELY GET BETTER!!! Love you loadz!

30 Bux For Free

Went to watch The Mummy:Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor today with Lekavathee. I didn't expect the movie to end so fast. Was kinda disappointed in a way. After whacking Char Koay Teow, headed to Secret Recipe. Whacked Chocolate Strawberry Cake which looked damn appetissing on the display but when I ate it, the cake was very dry(VERY VERY dry). We then took a bus to Komtar. Highlight of the day starts here:

Was standing in the bus as there were no vacant seat till a man in his 50s or so stood up and allowed Lekavathee to sit. I thought he was about to get down that he offered his seat to her. Instead, this man just stood there without getting off the bus. Then he started his conversation with Lekavathee which then I realise he was DRUNK as I could smell Carlsberg on him:

The Man(patting Leka's head): You'll go far, miss. I gave you my seat, so you'll definitely go far in life.
The Man to Me : Miss, you don't mind her sitting here right?
Me : No
The Man to Leka : You're a good girl. You'll go far in life. You'll be a lawyer or doctor.

Lekavathee just smiled. Then he kept repeating about how Lekavathee will go far in life being a doctor or lawyer. Alternately he kept asking me wether I mind him talking. Honestly, I was pretty annoyed he was drunk and he stink like crap but I can't be triggering him by saying anything nasty as I was in a public bus.

The Man to Lekavathee(pointing towards Me) : Is she your mother?
Lekavathee: My sister!!
The Man: Ohh, I see. Are you studying, miss?
Lekavathee: Yes
The Man : Good girl. Study hard. You'll go far in life. I have confidence in you.
Lekavathee : Yes

This Man kept repeating the same bloody thing and the drama was watched by almost the whole entire bus passangers, particularly a Saudi Arabian guy and a Malay-looking lady in the front seat. How I wish I was invisible!! The Saudi Arabian guy was practically nodding and smilling for everything The Man said and he kept looking at Lekavathee.

The Man: Next time I'll see you in this bus again. I'm sure you'll do well. We will meet again.

Which I actually thought he's gonna get the hell out of the freaking bus but he didn't. He kept talking about the same shit again and again till :

The Man to Me: Miss, you don't mind me giving something to your sister?
Me: No thank you!
The Man: No no..this is from me. I have to give...
Me: No thank you
The Malay-Looking Lady: You better watch out for your sister!

Which just in time the driver hit the emergency break and The Man practically leaned towards the side of the bus,blocking me from Lekavathee while he took out his wallet. When I caught a sight of Lekavathee's, she looked freaking pale and frightened. I saw the relieved face when she saw me keeping an eye on her. The man took out 10bux and passed it to my sister which she declined but he insisted.

Lekavathee: Thank you, uncle.
The Man : You're welcome. You're a very nice girl. Your sister is like my daugther. You're like my grandchild.
The Man to Me : Miss I hope you don't mind. We should do good to people. Then good things will happen to us. I almost died 4 times in my life. I've worked as a security guard and I've got stabbed about 4 times but I'm still alive. I do good deed to people like this. That's why I'm still alive.

What have I got to say? I just freaking gave him a smile and looked away. I just don't get the point why he gave that 10bux for. Meanwhile he asked for Lekavathee's name.

The Man: How old are you,miss??
Lekavathee : 13
The Man: Oh my god! You look like an 8 year old!! She look so young. Very good child. You'll go far. Study hard!

And the Saudi Arabian guy gave some weird reaction which I have no idea what it's suppose to mean. And this Man started telling the Saudi Arabian guy about him being stabbed 4 times, which I really thought he will leave me and Lekavathee in peace but he didn't. He started again with his crap and I was really getting annoyed and my facial expression was pretty much obvious.

The Man: Is that money enough for you?
Lekavathee: Yes yes!!
The Man: No, no. I don't think it's enough. Next time I see you, you'll be better. So I'll give you 50bux.
Lekavathee just nodded.
The Man: How many friends do you have?
Lekavathee: 4
The Man: No no! It's not enough!! And he took his wallet again.
Me: It's okay uncle. Nevermind. No thank you.
The Man : No no! She's a good child. She deserves it.

While I was telling NO to that drunkard, the Saudi Arabian guy took 10bux from his wallet and gave Lekavathee and this was then followed by The Man. So, there you go, there's 2 freaks of nature doing some charity in the bus for God knows what reason. I was so freaking annoyed and went ...

Me : What is this?? This is so ridiculous!! Can you people just stop it??
Saudi Arabian Guy: No no. She's a good kid.
Me: So ridiculous.
The Man shook hands with the Arabian guy and told Lekavathee : See, I gave you 10bux. This young man gave you another 10bux. It's all good deed. Once you do good to people, you'll always get good things.
The Man to Me : Miss, are you angry??
Me: No.It's okay.

So, Lekavathee made 30bux out of just answering the drunken man's questions. The man kept asking wether I was angry which I really felt like telling him to just shut the fuck up. I guess he got the idea that I was freaking annoyed.

The Man: I can see you are angry. I don't want you to scold me.
The Man to Lekavathee: You must remember me. I'm Mr.Amir. I'm a Muslim.You're a Hindu. But we must help each other.

He kept shaking hands with the Saudi Arabian guy and my sister for God knows what reason. I had a glance at a Malay lady and she gave me a smile and shook her head. I guess she gets the point that I'm so freaking annoyed with the drunken man and his charity act.

The Man: Which school are you in??
Lekavathee: Sri Mutiara
The Man to Me: Where is the school?
Me: In town
The Man: Where In Town?? You must tell me specificly you see...
Me : In town
The Man: So, you are suspicious of me... you are angry...

I totally ignored him. And he kept mumbling to himself.

The Man to Lekavathee: Where is your father working??
Lekavathee: .....
Me: Factory..Bosch

It's a lie anyway. I coudn't think of anything. Just crapped it out of annoyance.

The Man: Are you married?
Me with the fucking annoyed face: No!
The Man : Okay.. okay... Don't get angry...

He shook hand again with Lekavathee and the Saudi Arabian guy and said to Me : I cant shake hand with you.You're not married.

He's talking as if I was dying to shake hand with him. Sheeesh!

The Man to Me: I lost all my family members. I'm all alone.
Me: Okay

"I'm not surprised" - That's what I thought to myself. And all the while he spoke good command of English. And he had this smile of self satisfaction on his face. He kept talking about meeting again in the same bus sooner or later which I totally ignored. Finally the freaking bus reached Komtar.

The Man: I'm getting off now. See you! You're angry...
I totally ignored him.
Me to the Saudi Arabian guy : I don't know why you gave the money. It's really unnecessary.
Saudi Arabian Guy: No no! She's like my sister. Her face.Like my little sister. It's okay...
Me: Okay...Thank you...
Lekavathee: Thank you...

The Malay Looking lady looked up to me and smile.

Me pointing towards Lekavathee(laughing): She just made 30 bux without doing anything.
Malay Looking Lady : Hahahaha

Finally The Man left. I was so worried he'd be stalking us till we get onto another bus. Thank God he left. Phewwwww! The relief look on Lekavathee's face was so priceless! Hahaha! I'm still puzzled about the whole incident!

o.O

THE DAY

Finally, it's all over!! 3 days ago, I graduated from Universiti Malaysia Terengganu with a Bachelor Degree in Chemical Sciences. It was THE DAY in my life. Being the FIRST grandchild(my mom's side), the second child in my family, but FIRST to graduate is absolutely a GREAT ACHIEVEMENT, something that Me, Thylage, my parents, Aunt and Grandma has been waiting for all our lives.

Maybe to some people, graduation is NOTHING AT ALL . Some of my friends didn't even bother to attend their graduation with the reason,"It's just a cert.I'll get it from the office." Another friend of mine didn't attend his graduation with the lousiest ever reason,"I'd have to cut my hair if I were to attend it" and I went WTF???

The day started off with me having a fucked - up facial expression which got everybody asking me "What's wrong with you early in the morning?" I practically had to just answer them "I'm born with this face. What do u expect??" The function went on and as usual. Me, Dumz and Bb were sitting together, making fun of each and every single thing, laughing our ass off when we are NOT EVEN SUPPOSE TO TALK. We made fun of all the moments we had spent and gone through.

I remember messaging Wong, saying goodbye and all and the reply from him was "It's gonna take a very long time for us to meet again." That's definitely true! All of us has got our jobs and paths to go to. We're gonna be busy with our own lives and God knows when our path will ever cross again. That was the moment I truly realise, I will definitely going to miss my campus life. The talks, the jokes, all the craps we did is just irreplaceble. I won't deny the fact that we were actually waiting for this moment, to get it all done. So much for wanting it to happen, we didn't really bother to think about the parting.

This significant friend of mine, Liong Chun Lun, didn't attend the graduation as his mum has just undergone an operation. Being the mommy's boy, he is taking care of his mum, cooking, cleaning and doing the house chores. We (Me,Dumz,Bb,Wong) were so sad to hear that he couldn't attend. I was so looking forward to meet him and in the end he couldn't make it. Honestly, I miss him so much!! The talks, the jokes, everything about him! All the 3 years I've known him, I've never seen him rage at anyone, even at ME. And he's one person that never gets a day away from getting screwed from ME. And I've never got screwed from him. That's LIONG CHUN LUN. One of the best soul I've got to know! This goes for you, Liong Chun Lun! *Smack It* Hahaha! =)

Writting this blog today, made me realise how many wonderful souls I've got to know. We may be friends but we had our family relationships as well. Dumz was the Mummy(A dumb one and that explains why she's called Dumz). I'm the eldest daughter, Bb and Krisha are the children after me. They are yet to decide who's first coz both wants to be the last child-the pampered one. Bb and I share multiple bondings. I'm her sister, husband and Oppa. Too long story to be explained. =P

Campus life was just wonderful and the moments spent are memories to be cherished throughout my life. People come and go but these FRIENDS of mine, will always be close to my heart. My best wishes goes to Dumz,Bb, Krisha, Vicky, Liong Chun Lun, Wong Eng Poa, Ng Chin Hoo, Ct and Ayuni. =) =) Missing you guys loads!!

Go On, LAUGH!!

I'm being the LAUGHING STOCK of my family members and friends. Started the day(yesterday) with breakfast at home-capati and curry with hot tea without milk which I haven't had for ages. I whacked to glory and started watching Cloverfield. Within 30minutes, I puked. So much for having hot tea. Got wasted anyway! LoLz!! Continued watching Cloverfield, got a phone call from Ravindh saying he's met with an accident and fractured his arm,now being hospitalized.

Whacked honey dew to glory when mum and sis came home. Mum brought this bread loaf which has dates and raisins and its damn sweet. I'm a SUGAR FAIRY. Feed me sweet sugary food and I'll consume to glory. Told mum about Ravindh and we decided to leave to hospital about 430pm to visit Ravindh and my aunt. Reached hospital, went to Ravindh's ward and saw him sleeping. So, went to visit my aunt first. I was holding my aunt's hand when I felt the whole world is spinning and my vision got blurred. I spotted a chair opposite the bed, aimed to park my azz there and - PITCH BLACK.

The next thing I know, I hear mum calling my name, saw nurses and a doctor standing around me and FUCK, my ass hurts. Was only half conscious, saw the nurse applying Minyak Cap Kapak right down my nose, another pulled my hand and pricked my finger for a blood test, another checking up my BP. The doctor pulled out my spects n checked my eyes. All I heard was "She look very pale! She look very pale! She look very pale" I was struggling with myself as I felt like puking but it doesn't seem to come out!! Then came a few other nurses, stood in front of me and went "She's so cute! She's so cute" Honestly, I appreciate the compliment but hello, I was trying to puke!!! I felt FINE until one of the nurses came with the wheelchair and insisted my mum to bring me to the emergency ward. I went WTF and told I'll walk if at all I have to go and I got screwed from mum. So, I was FORCED to use the damn wheelchair and brought to the emergency ward, attended by this huge sized Indian doctor with a sweet smiley face.

Conversation:
Doc : Yes, enna achi?(What happened?) Hemaa--What is your name exactly??
Me: Hemaavathy. Maike padte vilenthe, enthirechi, vanthi edethen(I fainted,got up and vomitted). I vomitted in the morning as well.
Doc: Wow! This is interesting! Maike padte vilenthe, enthirechi, vanthi edethingge.(U fainted, got up and vomited)*Looked at another doc and said "Look,interesting story she has." And they shared some moment of laughter* So, how many times you actually vomitted?
Me: *Gave a killer stare for making me a total joke* Twice-Morning after breakfast, and just now, after fainting. And I'm having my period.
Doc: Okay, good. That's very important. Maybe that's why you fainted.

I was just nodding and stared at him for making me the joke of the day. He smiled and called a nurse to check my BP. As I was being checked, a guy, neatly dressed in tie and long sleeves shirt came in and and a nurse went to his aid, trying to put up the drips bottle(I don't really know what they call it. *Maal, u gotta help me with this*)

Doc to the nurse(Laughing): Make sure he doesn't change his clothes. He looks nice with it.
*Not enough of me,this doctor is making fun of that poor little guy who came for treatment*

Next, I hear him asking the nurse to give me a bottle too. I went FUCK! She poked the needle right through my vein. It wasn't painful until a point where the tiny tube hit my wrist bone and FUCK! It striked so badly. Had to bare with it coz mum was already in some trauma stage looking at the nurse poking the needle. =P Had to be in the emergency ward for 2 hours, waiting for the bloody bottle to finish. I was asked to sleep while the bottle finished but I just sat there like a dumbazz, looking around and started to sms Divya and got screwed from her for my eating habit.

There was a lady opposite me being treated by 2 doctors. She had totally burned about 4% of herself with hot boiling water(I heard the doctors and the nurses talking. That's the least I can do while sitting there-eavesdrop). From the right side of her face, shoulder till the whole right arm. Ouch! That would really hurt! Poor lady!! =(

A nurse came and checked my BP again and fastened the dripping rate and it hurt like hell. Within few minutes I was done with it and the nurse came to pull out the bloody tube and I went Ouch!!

Nurse(smiling) :Next time, make sure you shave the hairs before you come here.
Me :Shave?? o.O
Nurse: The tape is pulling your hair that's why you feeling the pain.

I gave her a smile and thought to myself "VERY FUNNY MISSY". Thanked her and we(my mum n I) headed home after taking the medications. Reached home and saw my dad at the doorway, laughing his azz off. I gotta admit, I laughed to the bone as well.

Brother to Me : How did you faint??
Mum to Me: Demo to your brother how you fainted. Faster!!
Me : Hahahaha! Very funny people! I only fainted. Nothing serious and everyone made a big fuss out of it with the emergency ward and the damn wheelchair!
Brother to Me(sarcastic) : Eat 2 days once some more. Or next time, starve yourself!
Me : I'm eating okay!! I eat in small amount. You people just don't get it. I even whacked bread before going to GH!!

Just got phone calls from mum, dad and grandma asking whether I'm okay. I'm PERFECTLY FINE people!! I get it that you all are so concern, but hey, I'm absolutely fine. Don't be a paranoid and PLEASE people, stop making me feel sick. I'm absolutely FINE!! Thank you!

Just feel that the nurse and the doctors were so with "on the job" attitude. Of course, it's their job, but I really respect them for being so fast moving. =) Thank you again! For the doctor and the nurse who made fun of my condition, thanks to you as well. Maybe you were just trying to make me feel better. =) Thank You people! Tulips! =)

Uncivilized Barbarians

There are so many reasons that triggered me to write this post. The main reason, I'm FUCKING SICK of tolerating all this shit. People can be such an annoyance at times or shall I say most of the times. Maybe it's just ME but then IT'S NOT.

If you see yourself in the list below, you are definitely an UNCIVILIZED BARBARIAN.
NOPE, I'm NOT AT ALL sorry that YOU are offended!
*PROFANITY TO GLORY*

1. Littering around - Happens everywhere. It bugs the hell outta me when people don't throw their fucking rubbish in the dustbin. Then they complain about the place being dirty. It is even worse in low - cost flats area. These fuckers just throw bags full of rubbish through their windows or balcony. I've even seen a curry packet landing right on the hood of a car. WTF??? Let it even be a used cotton bud or some crumpled paper, why can't you just throw it in a dustbin?? To those fuckers who smokes, PLEASE, just fucking throw the cigarette buds or even empty cigarette box in the dustbin. WARNING to those who know me : DON'T EVER LET ME CATCH YOU LITTERING AROUND or YOU'LL DIE OF PUBLIC HUMILIATION WHILE BEING FORCED TO PICK UP THE RUBBISH!! I'VE DONE THIS BEFORE AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN!!!
   
2. If you are in the cinema, please change your mobile into SILENT MODE or SWITCH IT OFF. Not only YOU are being distracted from the movie but OTHERS as well. Be considerate! YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING TAIKO EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU ARE!! To those bunch of hooligans, stop screaming, whistling or even giving some fucking sound effect while watching movies in the cinema. Honestly speaking, INDIANS does this all the time. I'm not being racist but heck, it's the absolute TRUTH. I've never seen any other races behaving so in cinemas.
   
3. STOP SMOKING in public. There's enough damage being done to your own self. STOP smoking in the elevators especially, even if there's no one in. JUST FUCKING STOP!!!
   
4. STOP SPITTING around. It's unhygienic and it's FUCKING DISGUSTING!!!
5. If you chew chewing gum to glory, STOP STICKING it everywhere!!! There's instructions on what to do with the chewed gum on the wrapper itself. Even if you are illiterate, it is illustrated in graphics. Don't tell me you're a FUCKING DUMBASS!!!
   
6. STOP BURPING on people's face!! It's FUCKING DISGUSTING AND RUDE!!! If at all you do, at least say a fucking EXCUSE ME for god sake!! This burping habit is familiar among the Malays. Again, I'm not being racist. It's the absolute TRUTH!!
   

I can only think of these few things. I bet there's MORE!! It's really a major issue! IT IS TO ME!!!! So much for globalization and crap, people are turning to be uncivilized barbarians!!!

Life's Uncertainty

Weekend was hectic. Busy traveling from Penang to KL(Saturday) and from KL to Penang(Sunday). The reason to KL was to visit Thashneyvie, my cousin's daughter. Reached the hospital on Saturday and I totally went in shock to see her lying on the hospital bed. She's totally changed. She's no more the happy kid I once knew. She barely smiles. I admit I'm allergic to kids but when she came over to my place for Deepavali gathering a few years back, she was so much different. I remember telling my dad that Thashneyvie is such a cutie. She listens to what ever an elder person says. She doesn't rebel or create havoc. Same goes to her brother whose name is too bombastic for me to remember.

She's ONLY 6 and honestly, I am still not sure if what is wrong with her. My aunt told me some other stuffs, my mum told me something else, and finally my uncle said it's brain tumor. If only I can ask what is really wrong with her, I would!! I really want to know!! It's just not the right place and time to go on bombarding the mother with my questions. There's enough damage done.

There wasn't even a chart on her health condition except for the book which her mother keep note of what Thashneyvie consumes. I saw the book had some drawings, mathematics calculations, and those food consumptions details. She barely eats. She consumes milk out of tube through her nose. 50ml per hour.

I don't think she even went to school. She only attended kindy I suppose. She's been hospitalized since end of last year I guess. So, there goes her most precious days in life, undergoing treatments - radiotheraphy. She's gone thinner. She's lost her balance and orientation. She once had gorgeous eyes with long curvy eye lashes. Now, she don't. Her hair have almost all dropped. She had fair flawless skin once upon a time and now she's gone dark, scars on her chest, neck and so on. Both her hands are poked with the drips needle. So much of suffering for a 6 year old.

Such a heartbreak!!

Had a few photo's of Thashneyvie and the rest of the kids taken during the Deepavali gathering back then. Myself and Thylage were assigned to babysit the kids while the elders have their chats to glory. Just feel like sharing it. Really really hope she'll get well soon!! =( =(

From Left : Yashnee, Lekavathee(behind), Keshvini, Thashneyvie and Thylage



Thashneyvie



Thashneyvie munching on some food



From left : Yashnee, Lekavathee, Keshvini, Thashneyvie and ME

Suffocation

I almost DIED today. Almost died of suffocation due to strong STENCH. I was in hell the cinema and the strong stench came from the dead body somebody, only God knows who. I was so suffocating as I had to control my breathing. It was such an annoyance. So much for wanting to watch Dasavatharam, I ended up having to smell somebody's armpit body odor which was fucking disgusting. I'm just wondering, can't you smell your own self? If the stench can reach other people, it mite as well reach you.

Definitely very DISTURBING. This is one of the MAIN reason I avoid crowded places or functions infested with corpse people. They sweat and began to stink. Forget those fuckers people. Even when my family members comes home after work, I stand a mile away from them to avoid any inhalation of methane gas body odour. When they walk pass me, I hold my breath. I know, I'm MEAN but hello, it's fucking DISGUSTING.

When I was in University, my roommate had this problem. I didn't know it until one fine day she was sweating to glory and it just came right through my nostrils and I went paranoid screamed "U stink!! Get away from me!!" She explained that it's a genetic thingy. She inherited from her mother. Like I care! All I said was "Stay away from me. And you better do something about it!!"

Every semester, during the final exams, I have to undergo trauma. Those invigilators especially the MALES stink big time. Probably caused by the ciggies. My Lord! It's so disgusting that I feel like burning them alive. How come they don't realize they stink big time? Or are they living in coconut shell ignorance?? Don't tell me they cant read facial expressions of their colleague?? Or don't the colleagues at least hint them about the stench??

Honestly, I can't take this anymore. I might just die out of suffocation one day(Though one can't die by holding his/her breath). Those who has body odor, PLEASE, I repeat, PLEASE do something about it. DO NOT CAUSE DEATH!!

There are ways to overcome this problem :

1. Get a fucking deodorant/body spray/talcum
   
2. Be hygienic
3. If you know someone having a bad body odor, help by TELLING them off. That's the least you can do.
   
4. Bathe by using "jambu" leaves, "limau kasturi" leaves. Just scrub the body using the leaves and it helps to ward off the stench.
   
5. Bathe properly
6. Use perfume
   

Finally, if you have body odor and you don't wanna be stabbed humiliated by me, just stay the fuck away from me. Do not be the next topic of my blog. Thank you.

P/S : No one was harmed (yet) during this post.

Decided

Decided once upon a time to NOT to blog here.
Decided now to blog HERE.
So I will.


glitter-graphics.com

Ive already have a blog. Signed up for this juz to comment on my buddy's blog. This goes for u Rani darling!! Sorry for the delay on the comments!! Muakz!!